Christmas Memories: let's wrap up the old millenium

96: Christmas Eve church service


97: The year I met Don


98: First Christmas as a married couple


99: I never did find that picture I was looking for....

Christmas Memories...catching up on the early 90s

Yep, missed a few days again. Yep, night shifts.

So today I will cover 3 years at once. Though there is no shortage of memories, they were all of the teenage variety and involve ex-boyfriends and other such drama which I didn't really wish to include in a decade-spanning Christmas memory album. Which created a nice opportunity to do a few of those fun-to-make design-based pages where the focus is more on the style and doesn't require much journalling if any.



1993. Here's my brother and me, who had enjoyed for many years getting up in the middle of the night to see what Santa had left. This year was no different, nor was getting up early on Christmas morning, but it was around this year that it actually started making me tired. As far as I can recall. I do know this was the first year I consciously opted to take an afternoon nap on Christmas day. I guess the drive to Toronto had been helpful in that respect, when we were younger.



I'm happy with how this one came together so easily yet so effectively. It was a happier year all round, but most of the festivities took place at my ex-boyfriend's house (where this picture was taken) so for future-friendliness I made it simple.



1995 was a peaceful Christmas. My mum and I had started going to church shortly before, and had joined the choir, and the spiritual inspiration was still young and fresh in my heart after years of teenage blues. Maybe that's why this page is mostly blue. I love how the sun shines through the window...makes you wanna sing Joy To The World or something. Actually, this was the only picture I had of Christmas 1995. But I still like it.

Christmas Memories: 1992

I love using my title as my journalling.

I also love not having an 80s haircut anymore.

Christmas Memories: 1991

Grade 8. My family had this tradition for a few years of eating dinner out on Christmas Eve, and in 1991 they booked us at an overpriced and overrated Chinese buffet because there was karaoke there, and I liked to sing. It would have been my first time at karaoke, and then when Christmas Eve rolled around I got a cold and had totally lost my voice. Very heartbreaking for a 14-year-old, made worse by having iceberg lettuce and saltines for dinner, which appeared to my then discriminating tastes as the only edible-looking food the buffet had to offer.

Christmas Day was enjoyable enough, with a few surprise gifts and a lot of delicious goodies. There were a few pictures, but my cold had left me looking pretty lousy in all of them, to say nothing of the hideous 80s haircut I was still growing out.

So I opted for a Christmas tree/gift shot, colour-reversed on the computer for effect, and a story that happened a few days before Christmas when we were picking up my dad from the airport. Though my mum might think otherwise, my memories of that night are actually good in hindsight and don't remind me of how crummy I felt on Christmas Eve, so that's what I chose to journal for 1991. There's always a good way to look back on things.

Christmas Memories: 1990

One of my favourite pages in this entire album. The colours and patterns aren't exactly traditional for Christmas, yet in every way remind me of this exact day. It has a feel very different from the rest of the pages but fits in perfectly somehow.

After a lovely Saturday out with my favourite boy, we're going to snuggle in and watch Return of the Jedi in our PJ's. Sweet dreams!

Christmas Memories: 1989

This was our first Christmas in BC. It was also my year as the crazy cat girl, and most of my gifts were cat-related...stuffed kitties, porcelain kitties, a kitty calendar, and various other things with kitties on them. I believe the paper is from My Mind's Eye, and the rub-ons from Fancy Pants.

I'm working on a new scrappy project right now called December Daily from which the inspiration was again taken from Ali Edwards' blog via a Skrap N' Chat link. It's been longer than I can remember since I scrapped and Christmas always puts me in the mood again. Right now I'm just focusing on getting pictures and journalling though, I'll put it all together in January sometime. My goal is to have each day represent a different activity, theme or idea. Doing the Week In The Life project back in April really inspired me to make the most of my days and my hope is this December Daily will do the same...with a festive twist.

Here's how it goes so far:


December 1: Trimming the tree


December 2: Our sent gifts have arrived safely in BC


December 3: Snow!

Christmas Memories: 1988

And once again, we have pictures. The title on this page was fun to make, though I don't remember exactly how I did it. I do know it involved a Xyron, a stencil, and different coloured foil leafing. And do I spy some Basic Grey Blitzen scraps? Looks like I had some left after all! I think this was also one of the first pages I ever used metallic filigree stickers on. Definitely a fave of mine.

Christmas Memories: 1986-1987

This is the only 2-page spread in this album and probably always will be, as the album's up-to-date and it's hard to plan 2-page spreads over the course of a year. It's also the only layout with no actual photos. Now if I'm going to do a photo-less layout there needs to be a good reason explained in the journalling, and the short answer is there were no pictures of '86 or '87. The longer answer is that my dad got a video camera in 1986 and the 2-4 year gap in photos in my family history is replaced by 2-4 years of classic home videos, which still remain on VHS and I haven't figured out how to convert into any other format yet.




These pages use my second favourite Basic Grey Christmas paper line, Figgy Pudding. (my #1 fave Christmas paper line is Basic Grey Blitzen, their first Christmas line, which I pretty much had used up by the time this album was started). My other fave part of these 2 pages is the date snaps (top corners on both ends, sort of cut off on this scan). There were a ton of these on clearance and I snagged up the dates I needed with this page already in mind.

Christmas Memories: 1985

Looks like I missed a day...working nights does that to ya sometimes. It'll all even out though, because tomorrow's a 2-pager.



Anyway, here's 1985, which has suddenly made me realize that up to this point every page has included at least one picture of actual Christmas Day. This was all I could find from 1985, but I like these pics. That pink dress was one of my favourites, though my mum never really put me in it that often. I never wore much little girl pink back then. The hair makes me think this must have been my Annie-fan days.

Christmas Memories: 1984

Yay for the 80's! I still remember this Christmas and all those toys. And getting up at 5 in the morning when it was still dark.

Christmas Memories: 1983

In the process of making this album, it was apparent there were some years with lots of pictures and not a lot of memories (the 70's), or lots of memories and no pictures ('86 and '87). Then you get 1983, a year where I had ample family pics full of memories, and then after inheriting most of my Gran & Gramps's old photos...even more. This is an example of a Christmas where good memories were kept fresh by having lots of pictures. Which, of course, makes scrapbooking them a bit of a challenge...I wanted to include as many pictures as I could, and also a lot of journalling, since I do have very specific memories of that exact day. So I did my best to incorporate both here. These are my favourite kind of pages to make.

Christmas Memories: 1982

These last 2 pages were from the years we actually started unwrapping our own gifts at home before driving down to Toronto, which was by the way 2 hours from where we lived at the time. Or at least when my parents started taking pictures at home first. It's interesting how your memories are shaped (and maintained) by what was actually captured on camera, especially when you're someone who loves looking through photo albums. That's the main reason I started scrapbooking.

Christmas Memories: 1981

Christmas pages are my favourite to scrapbook...there is just so much beautiful paper out there! The papers on this page and the last are both from Daisy D's...I just love the vintage wrapping paper look. It's so perfect for these old Christmas photos.

Christmas Memories: 1980

This picture is actually a scanned and enlarged Polaroid. You can barely make out my month-old baby brother on the corner of the couch. But once again we're in Toronto with family...and is that the same outfit I had on in last year's Christmas pictures? It always took me a while to grow out of (or into) things. Happy Tuesday!

Christmas Memories: 1979

Good morning! I'm enjoying my morning (1:53 in the afternoon) cup o'tea and a late breakfast while thinking about Christmas. Yes, I worked nights this weekend.

Today we move along to 1979. I was just over 1 1/2 and still an only child, and once again we celebrated in Toronto with all the family. I still had baby hair. It never grew all that quickly.



Both this page and yesterday's were created with Karen Foster Christmas papers which I received in a kit from the scrapbook store I designed for in 2006. These 2 were the first ones I made for the album, though by no means did it get completed in total chronological order It mostly went by what years I had pictures for at the time.

I actually did my first Christmas baking of the year yesterday! Gingerbread cookies, of course. My special recipe. December is getting closer!

Christmas Memories: 1978

So like I mentioned, this year I'm counting down to Christmas with pages from my all-Christmas album. It begins in 1978...the first Christmas I had pictures of, at least that I could pin a year to...as it was my first Christmas ever. This began the tradition of celebrating Christmas day in Toronto with my grandparents, cousins, and other extended family. Surrounded by loving family...what could be better?

Attitude and Gratitude

It's been a while. My apologies for my flaky online presence...once I get momentum with something, that tends to be all I do for the next little while, whether it be a streak of scrapbook pages, Sculpey figures with my boy, or renovating all the closets. I'm sure some of you know the feeling!

I noticed something yesterday that I wanted to mention while it was still with me. After talking with people in the last couple days it's really become clear that you reap what you sow with your attitude. Cynical people will tell you not to trust this person or that, or not to go out of your way for anyone because you will never be appreciated and any extra efforts will become expectations. The thing is, that has not been my experience. Gratitude is important to me and I do my best to always show it, for things large and small. In return I have also been aware of it when it is directed to me, in word or in action, even in situations where cynics have told me I would not find it.

I don't stir things up. Sure, my aversion to competition and confrontation is perhaps extreme in many ways and admittedly has caused me anxiety in certain situations, but it also makes for a more positive world around me, one with more trust and less tension. It basically creates a world where I don't have to use things I'm not good at, like assertiveness, as often.

You can't change everything, but you can control your attitude, and that's often enough to effect change. So keep it positive.

Thanks for listening. I hope to try something new on my blog this year as Christmas gets closer (I wrote it in my daytimer so the chances of me getting it done are better!) I love Christmas pages...my favourite album to look through is my all-Christmas album. So I would like to feature it here, one page per day, starting November 21st. Come see it, if you like!

Another one from the vault

I've been following the challenges at Scrap Yourself since the site began earlier this year, and have gotten so many wonderful ideas! Regrettably I didn't get to put many of them into action yet, but as there aren't really any time restraints on them, I may still yet...hopefully even later this month!

The latest challenge (by a scrapper who happens to share my first name) was called Guilty Pleasures, and was about the artist's addiction to paranormal romance novels such as the Twilight series. I also enjoyed those books, though I must say I do have my own favourites. Speaking of which...this challenge reminds me a lot of a layout I have from three years ago. In a way this feels like "cheating" since it's an oldie, but then again, there really are no rules over at Scrap Yourself, just pure inspiration. And this was such a cool coincidence I just had to drag it out again.



This was one of 4 layouts inspired by a Making Memories class at CKC Buffalo that I can't remember the name of, but really enjoyed. I didn't even give this one all that much thought at the time, since the others required a bit more detail. I had this stock photo of me reading one of my beloved LOTR books and pretty much just plugged it into the right place, gave it a title and some journalling, and called it a day. And 3 years later I come across a layout of the same name, also about favourite books...and it seemed the perfect opportunity to take another look at this one again! Thank you Scrap Yourself for your inspiration, not just in creating layouts but in reminiscing through old ones with new perspectives. It's all about the memories.

Septemberific!

I really did wanna blog more in August, but I forgot that August always throws me for a loop. But that's ok...because it's September!!!!! My favourite month of all. There's so many things I love about September, and I'd like to incorporate them into Lisa's Skrap N' Chat blog challenge for this month....

The Top Ten Reasons I Love September.
(Note: the inspiration for this blog came faster than the scrap mojo, so I don't have any new layouts to share. So instead, this one will be illustrated with a collection of old layouts. Hope ya don't mind).



10. August is over. As I mentioned earlier, August is not my month of choice. Work gets busier, the Boy and I get more stir crazy, and my rational decision-making ability suffers (oh, suuuuure I can do night shifts during the week...I'll just sleep when Don gets home!) I've learned not to make any big decisions in August. My hair still hasn't grown back since last year.

9. It's a short month. Time goes faster, and you enjoy it more. I like short things, being one myself!

8. Delicious fall flavours. My funky friend out west actually just blogged about why she also loves September (great minds think alike...and fools seldom differ!) and she reminded me of a few things I'd forgotten about. I'm a big fan of pumpkin pie latte myself!

7. Historical significance. I think September was dampened for all of us about 9 years ago, so this may sound strange...but the date September 11th brings back in my mind a different year and a different memory. It was actually the date of me & my high school boyfriend's anniversary, and I had long decided before adulthood that September was my favourite month because of September 11, 1994. Unfortunately that person passed away in an accident in 1997, and though we had already broken up, I still continued to hold September the 11th close to me.



6. New beginnings. Let's take it back to the lighter side again. Though January is the first month of the year, September really feels like the month where everything starts up again, like school. As a kid I didn't care for school, yet September was the month it was the most enjoyable. All your supplies were new and shiny and you hadn't had a chance to get sick of your classes or scared of your teachers yet. It was actually a welcome change. And as someone with a school-age child...I must say it's a relief to have my days back again (love ya Tonesy!)



5. Fall colours. Though the frigid dead of winter and the stagnant heat of summer always make me miss the west coast, one season the Ottawa area has mastery over is fall. There are so many gorgeous kinds of trees out here and you would not believe the colours they turn once the temperature drops overnight from 35 to 10. And it all begins in September.

4. The perfect weather. Everywhere I've lived, September is my comfortable month. Don tells me I only have about a 4 degree range of comfortable temperature, and whether or not this is true, September has it right. It begins with in summer clothes, but for comfort, not necessity. And out here, it generally ends in longsleeves with or without a light jacket. The air always seems a little bit fresher when the temperature is on its way down.




3. The beginning of the holiday season. September is the month of looking forward to things. Stores start stocking Halloween and Christmas items, and though some complain about this, I just take the feeling of festivity from it and enjoy. We've got Halloween coming up in October, Thanksgiving in October AND November if you're lucky enough to post on an internet forum with both Canadians and Americans and join in the spirit of gratitude twice over, Remembrance Day in November, and of course Christmas in December. So many holidays all in a row...and for some of us, September itself holds more special days to to celebrate!



2. My one and only child was born in September. He was due on the 27th, and like about half our family, we figured he'd come in October. But 9 days early, Antonio made his arrival as the first September birthday in our family! And one of my favourite Mom duties is the maker of cake and the planner of parties. I often start fantasizing about birthday cake ideas as early in the year as I start fantasizing about Halloween costumes! I had already long established September as my favourite month, but Antonio being born in it was the icing on the cake.



1. September 2, 1997. Between 1994 and 2002, aside from the sensory and aesthetic reasons, there was one more big event that re-affirmed September as the best month ever. It was the first day of my second year of music college and I had already lost my purse. There was only one other student in the hall of the music wing at 9 a.m. who I could ask to borrow a pen and paper to make a "missing" sign. This guy's name was Don, and this was the beginning of how my life got to be what it is today. We were dating 2 weeks later, married 9 months later, and are still together. I can't even begin to describe how awesome he has made my life.

And it all happened in September.

Lisa's Blog Challenge: "No Epiphany"

Had to try out the new blog challenge at Skrap N' Chat...I don't keep this thing as active as I should!

So the deal was to blog about a FIRST...and one of her suggestions was the first time you looked at your newborn child's face. This one really stuck out for me, because I've often marveled at how my experience of this differs from every other mom I've heard the story from. I don't feel right making a new blog post without a layout, so I scrapped this one which had been in the back of my mind for weeks anyway, and seems to go with the theme I chose.



I'll warn you in advance, this is long-ish and a bit cathartic. If you still wanna stay, thanks again for listening :)

Other mothers said it's like magic. The moment you see your first child, everything just clicks into place. The mothering instinct switches on, and everything you once thought you were disappears into the shadow of the little miracle before you. And I had wanted a baby so much. I had looked forward to everything about pregnancy, even the unpleasant parts. My abundancy of free time had kept me a childish gamer geek and a TV addict...I looked forward to the distraction of a baby to shape me into the grownup I needed to be.

And then it happened...the melting away of the tension as I had my spinal...the strange sensation of the scalpel...the sarcastic (or so I thought) expression of my husband's voice asking if newborns were supposed to be "that big"...the muffled but unmistakeable crying sounds, and the release of a great weight from within...Don's voice again whispering "it's a boy! we have a son!", then not wanting to release him from his arms as he placed Antonio on my chest, still on the operating table...and there he was. And what did I feel? His heaviness, and the shaking of my body as it reacted to the major surgery. I saw him, already bigger than I'd planned for...and I waited. I waited for the magic. But I remained exactly the same as I always had been. There was no epiphany, no harmonious inner discovery...the only realization that hit home there and then was how astonishingly unchanged I felt, and how inadequate as I was that I could hope to parent this ten-pound stranger that somehow I had carried inside me for almost 9 months, yet felt I was really only meeting for the very first time. Drugged as I was, I even recall anxiety of whether or not he'd be happy with who he'd wound up with as a mother. I had just mastered the art of caring for him on the inside, but now that he was out...I had no clue.

Yet I felt that because of this supposed "motherhood epiphany" that I'd be expected to know everything. Because that's what mothers do. The whole first month I was afraid to ask for help, and reveal that I was incompetent. Every time people asked me about my son I gave the answers I thought they were looking for, though I was really thinking "How should I know? I've only known him a few days more than you have." Each night, each week, each month was a milestone for one extra moment I hadn't accidentally broken him.

Motherhood has been an experience of learning and growth for me, with me never really believing I was that good at it. I tend to envision myself more like my son's fun big sister, and with my youthful personality and appearance, I often believe others also see that.

If anything, my epiphany came a couple weeks ago, 2 nights before I was scheduled to fly out to BC to pick Antonio up after a 2-week stay with his grandparents. He had never been away for this long before, but I'd been happy he would get the chance to spend summer with his extended family, and aside from the valuable life experience it would be for him, it would also be a much-needed break from the parenting business for my husband and I. Or so I thought. Surely, Antonio and I would have driven each other crazy within the first week of summer holiday being home together all day long, history has proven that. But not having him at all...that was strange. I broke down in tears while I was alone at work, missing my son. For someone who has always appreciated the value of time alone, I had never felt so lonely. And finally I knew, without a doubt, that I really was a mom and not just some girl with a kid to look after. The life experience proved to be for us both. Antonio gained independence, and I learned that I was a mom all along.

That was a first.